I Have Everything
by KaylaPotter
Summary: Twentyyears later, Bella's life is perfect, she has a loving family, a charming boyfriend who's planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she unhappy? BxE
1. Chapter 1

I Have Everything…NOT!

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life is perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend who's planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and it will give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man and Victoria is out for revenge!

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. **

This is my first Twilight fan fic. Hope you like it.

**Chapter One **

**The Volturi are having a party?**

School… it has been going on for years and years. I'm going back to Albert Einstein High School tomorrow for my senior year. My sister Annie would bring me to parties, I shivered in the thought of it. As much as I love my sister Annie, she could get terribly annoying sometimes.

Back to the school discussion, Jesse says we should get a year break sometimes but our mom, Catherine disagrees; we learned everything there is! Derek suggested we should go to colleges. My decision would be none of the above.

In every school I've been to, I always have to be the most popular girl in school. And I didn't like the attention. Cheerleaders were always sweet and nice to me but rude to other students. Football players always try to make their move on me but good thing Jesse is there to warn them off. Freshman girls and boys worships me which I find very… I don't know, disturbing. I like my professors though; they don't really care much about me, just my grades.

"Bella… Bella…. BELLA!" Annie yelled trying to get my attention and she did. Good thing I was unbreakable or else I might need to get my ears checked.

"Bella, are you listening to me? We need to go shopping!"

I groaned, no… "But Annie, we have a closet full of clothes. Why don't we use them," I suggested.

Annie rolled her eyes, "No, silly. We need to get new clothes. I'm giving ours away to Goodwill."

My jaw dropped, "You cant do that. Not all of my clothes. At least,"

"I'm just going to throw away our last season. Like that Stella McCartney dress I bought for you three months ago. Its out of style now,"

"Annie! You can't just throw those away! They cost a lot!" Annie liked to spend money. If the stores get sick of seeing her there all the time, she could just transfigure to someone else. That was her power.

"No… we're going to the outlet tonight and you can't stop me!" Annie replied.

"Now…now Annie. Don't be so hard on my girl." Jesse said appearing out of nowhere. That was his power, he can transport to anywhere he wants. Like once, mom got mad at him for missing school one day to go to Tokyo to play poker. In our anniversary though, he's so sweet. He brought me to Paris last year. Though he can bring me there when I wanted to, its still so sweet.

He gave me a kiss in the cheek and sat next to me on the sofa. "May, I ask. Where were you?" I asked him.

He grinned, "I was just rooming around Scotland."

"Well next time you're bringing us to Hawaii. I heard on the news that things are getting wild down there." I said. Bears were rooming wildly in Hawaii. We were vegetarian vampires.

The door opened and closed. Our dad, Drew, works at the Hospital. He reminded me so much on Carlisle. Thinking of him and the others always makes me feel so down.

"Kids, I have some announcements to make." He said.

Seconds later everyone was there. Our mom. Catherine. Two of my brothers. Nick, Dean and our sister, Heather, Dad stood in front of us.

Nick and Annie sat together in the empty loveseat. Dean and Heather sat at the floor and our mother Catherine sat at the vacant armchair right next to her husband.

Dad cleared his throat and said, "The Volturi are having a party in Volterra."

We all laugh. The Volturi and the word 'party' just don't mix.

"Dad, are you serious? Really. What the real news?" Nick asked holding his laughter.

Drew looked serious. "That is the news. Next week they are having a party. For every kind of vampire, they couldn't keep track on every vampire in the world now. They want to list us all in files and they want to know who their threats are or not."

"Every kind of vampire. Even us?" Heather asked thoughtfully.

"Yes." Dad answered.

A thought in my head struck to me, like lightning. The Cullens would be there, I just knew it, I mean, Carlisle are good friends with Aro. I can't take a risk. Apart of me, well every, part of me want to go and see them but I just cant. I'm happy right? I mean, of course I am.

I stood from my seat. "Can I be excuse from the meeting?" I asked politely. They nodded. They knew.

"Yes, dear." Mom said.

Jesse also stood up, "Do you want me to come with you?"

I smiled warmly and shook my head. "I just want to be alone for awhile."

I sat in the hard wood floor, hugging my knees tightly into my chest.

I missed them, so much. It hurt me, when they first left. Everything in my life had no meaning. All my mind could register was that Edward Cullen left me. He did not want me. I had to accept his decision but I still couldn't.

I miss him terribly. I still wanted him even though he does not want me. I needed to be with him to survive. Of course, I had Jesse but his just not Edward.

Laurent bit me. He said Victoria wanted me. He said he pitied me. He said its either die or turned into a vampire. That right on, I knew without Edward my life was over. I choose the first one but either way he bit me.

The funny thing is, I'm not attracted to human blood. I brought that trait with me. I'm more of the animal lover. My powers were fire and ice. I don't know how I got that. Fire reminded me on how warm, Jake had been. And Ice, how I shiver when Edward touches my skin. But that couldn't be it. And I could block any vampire's powers. I blocked Alice's. That's why they have no clue.

A year after I was changed, I was already reported missing and dead. I met the Gerald's then. They took me with open arms. Jesse comforted me in my weakest link. And how do I repay him? He had done so much. They all did.

Maybe I could ignore the Cullens in the party. I knew Annie was excited. And I saw the look on Jesse's face. He knew that I still wanted Edward but I just have to prove to him that he is my life now.

Showing up at the party, would prove it. I hope.

"BELLA!!! What are you waiting for! Lets go shopping!"

**Hope you all like it. Please review. **


	2. Chapter 2

I Have Everything…NOT!

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life is perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend who's planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and it will give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man and Victoria is out for revenge!

**Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you all like my story! **

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. **

**Thank you for reading!!! **

**Chapter Two**

**Getting Ready. The Party. Victoria. Edward. **

"Hey Bella!"

"What up, Bells?"

"How are you doing, Bella?"

"Hello, Bella"

"Good Morning, Bella."

"Hi Bella"

"Welcome Back, Bella!"

It seemed like the whole student population greeted me. Its perfectly normal for the others but not for me. They've been around longer.

Yesterday, I agreed. I had to go to the party. And since Annie, Heather and I had a shopping extravaganza. They've been loading my cart up with anything they could set their eyes on. And Annie said it would be good to meet the Cullens again, so that they would know the reason about my sudden disappearance.

The first day was… wild. Everyone wants a new routine now. They started arguing on who I should sit with in the cafeteria, working hard trying to get a sit next to me and trying to be my best friend.

"Bella!" Annie whispered in my ear. Here I sat next to my family and a bunch of Alphas who just sat right next to us like they did last year. I'm back to school all right.

"Yeah, Annie?" I asked politely looking down at my untouched food, Lasagna, Cheese Pizza and fruit salad. I miss eating food, I could still remember how they really tasted like but they taste like dirt to me now.

"Oh no… she's daydreaming again." Jesse said. That's when I realized we three were suppose to be in a conversation, which I don't know of. I punched his elbow playfully and he laughed. Still… I miss Edward.

"Sorry again." I apologized. "Go on, Annie."

Annie rolled her eyes, "Bells, we were just talking about going to New York tonight. You know… so that we could buy a new dress for the party."

Oh… that. We could shop at New York all we want and we don't have to waste money for transportation.

Heather says that I should look my best for the party to show everyone how hot I am.

She was joking, I hope at least. Nick, Heather and Dean liked to joke about that they say I'm impossibly beautiful even for a vampire. Honestly I look fine by me, I just look brighter I guess… I mean you know. Paler skin, different eye color and better reflexes but it doesn't really help. I'm still so clumsy good thing I'm unbreakable or else I might be dead right now. Well, the whole state of Washington thinks so at least.

"Oh, of course. That would be great." I smiled approvingly.

Annie giggled, "Of course! You want to look good for The Cullens right! Mostly for Edwa-" I cut her off. She was babbling again. And as soon as she almost said the name 'Edward' Jesse's jaw clenched, his pale fingers crushed up together.

"Annie, I want to look nice. That's all." I said. I shot her a look when Jesse wasn't responding but then he started to talk to Nick.

She covered her mouth with her hands for a second and mouthed the words 'sorry'. I nodded and smiled telling her she was forgiven.

The bell rang and we gathered up. Annie, Heather, Dean and Nick had different classes to go to. Jesse and I had World History next. We walked in silence.

"So what are you going to do while Annie, Heather and I shop tonight?" I asked hoping to start out some conversation.

No respond.

"Poker with some bikers?" I joked.

Again no respond, and we were almost in our way to the classroom.

"Look Jesse, if you think that the reason I I'm going to the party is to get together with Edward again then you're wrong." I said. He finally made eye contact with me. He looked extremely puppy cute. His light brown hair followed the wind direction and his face always looks like it's pouting. "You know I love you. He left me. He does not love me. I know you do. I'm so lucky that I have you. I'm not leaving."

Finally! He's smiling now. He kissed me lightly on the lips wrapping his arm around my waist.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes I just… can't control myself to not be jealous. I'm just afraid you might leave me but I know that wont happen. I trust you." He said smiling even wider now.

I pinched his cheeks playfully. "You worry too much, you know that?"

"Yes, I do." He laughed. "Come on, let's go before Mr. Wilson gets mad."

I groaned. "He does have a bit of a temper."

Jesse brought us into a forest near the city, just to make sure no humans would see us. New York mostly had everything you would need.

Annie practically dragged me to every store in the city. You name it. Barneys, Banana Republic, Luis Vitton…etc. We had to wear something formal. The Volturi are having a formal party. I wonder what it would be like. No wine, no Champaign, no caviar… of course.

I found my dress; it was hard not to find anything since you had so many choices. I choose a simple floor-length red silk dress, that Annie said matched my brunette hair and pale skin, though I did not get it, she has a pale skin too. Annie bought a pink cocktail dress. Heather bought a light blue dress almost the same design as mine but hers had diamond designs on it.

Though when I asked Jesse where he was going to be in the time being. He said he was going somewhere around the city to buy something.

And you know what's funny. While we were going to Coach for matching handbags, I thought I saw Jesse in Tiffany's. Funny, it's probably in my imagination. When I told the girls on what I thought I saw, they just giggled.

After we got our dress, shoes and handbags. We sat down at a bench in the dark silent park where we planned to meet Jesse. He arrived seconds later, smiling joyously like he won something. He even laughed at Heather's insult which was really unusual because they usually argued and insulted each other.

I questioned his sudden mood but just let it go. Because next week I'm going to meet the Cullens again and I don't know what's going to happen next.

Okay, my body felt like jumping off a cliff, I was so nervous I was shaking. It took me awhile to calm down.

Annie curled my hair. Though she said I did not need make up just lip-gloss. Everyone was ready. Dresses, make up and accessories for the girls and tux for the guys.

Jesse brought us right inside the underground 'palace'. Identical pale skin faces with circles under their eyes room around me though they had different eye colors. Red, Black and Orange.

There was a ballroom; music from different decades was played. Vampires danced gracefully with the different song beats.

"Names?"

We turned around. One of the Volturi's guards had a clipboard in his hands, the old fashioned way.

Dad spoke for all of us, "The Gerald's. Drew Gerald. Catherine Gerald. Nicholas Gerald. Heather Layne Gerald. Dean Thomas Gerald. Annie Belle Gerald. Jesse James Gerald and Isabella Marie Gerald."

The guard nodded. "I see you're one of Aro's friends?"

Dad nodded, "Yes."

"Very well then. Enjoy you're evening." The guard said and left.

"That dude looked so serious." Dean said.

"Yeah, he does." Heather agreed. Then she froze. "Do you guys smell humans?"

Drew signed heavily. "They have a feeding room for the guest."

I gasped. "Unbelievable!"

"We can't judge on the way they live. We can't help them. They're already attracted to human blood. It would take two century's to even be near a human without killing them." Dad explained.

"So that's where all the screaming comes from." Annie mumbled. "I thought they just wanted to sound scary."

"They don't really need to sound scary because they already are scary." Heather mumbled.

"Enough of this. Especially not in here." Jesse said. We all agreed and we started to talk to family friends.

Three males already asked me if I wanted to dance, I rejected them nicely. I've been walking around making acquaintances there were no signs of the Cullens.

But something caught my eye. She was talking to someone who rolled his black eyes and he walked away from her. She was standing next to the stonewall looking slightly bored. I remember her so clearly, from that time at the baseball field and from my nightmares. Her hair looked like the color of fire and she was wearing a red dress that matched with it.

Victoria didn't notice me at first but when she faced my way, she froze and then hissed at me. She remembers me, of course she would, I was the reason her mate was gone. Seconds later she face over two inches away from my face, her red eyes piercing with anger. I took a step back glaring right back at her. She and James tried to kill me! But I'm not afraid of her anymore. I'm not weak. I have abilities in my defense. But you have to agree she still scares me a bit.

Her face filled with hatred.

"You…" she hissed. She turned to face something or someone behind me. And laughed, "You always need someone to help you do you, girl? Even now that you're a vampire."

I gave her a confused look. What was she talking about?

"Victoria." A voice behind me hissed. I froze I knew that voice very well. That soft, velvet voice that I missed so much. I just stood there. I didn't dare move, not even an inch.

Victoria smirked, "Edward, is it?" she said. "Here to protect her or something?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Victoria." Edward said. "I'm just here to say that I still haven't gone over on what you did to Bella."

Victoria raised an eyebrow, "Are you still accusing me on killing you're little pet?"

Edward growled. "She is not a little pet. I love her. And for all I know you helped James. And for the second one, I cannot accuse you on something that I have no evidence that would proved you did it." What did he say?

She shot a quick glance at me. "She dead all right, Edward but in a different way." And then she left heading to the feeding room.

This was it. It was either now or never. My whole body was ready to turn around and look at him. Edward… he's here. Just a foot away from me, I can't believe it. He may try to push me away but I wont move, I won't force him to either. I just wanted him to know that I'm alive well… sort of.

"Miss, are you all right?" He asked. Always so protective and kind, "Miss?" He asked again when I did not answer.

I took I deep breath. And I turned around to face him.

He face went into a sudden change. He looked shocked and unbelieving. But I wasn't paying attention to that. Edward looked the same; he still sent chills into my spine when I looked at him.

I took this chance before neither of us speaks to touch his cheeks. It felt equal to mine now but his was extra cold. He looked like a god in my very opinion. His gold eyes searched all over mine they were filled with different sorts of emotions.

Being with Edward, right here, right now felt right. Like he was the missing puzzle piece that would fit my unfinished puzzle. But right then remember if the Volturi new about our past there might be consequences. But how could I think of it when he was suddenly wrapping me around his arms. "Bella…" he whispered. "Bella…"

I felt great. I felt perfect. But then… Jesse.

**Please review. **


	3. Authors Note

Thank you for all the reviews! I really appreciate it. I have a huge test coming up and it might take me awhile to finish but I'll get chapter 3 done as fast as I can. I'm still kind of new with this. Again, Thank You!!!!

Kayla


	4. Chapter 3

I Have Everything…NOT!

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life is perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend who's planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and it will give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man and Victoria is out for revenge!

Thank you for all the reviews! I love you all: D 

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse. **

**Phew! Its over! I'm free again! Yay! I started typing this chapter yesterday but did not finish the day after yesterday, I had a test and now I just hope I passed. **

**Again, thank you for reading. I really like Jesse but Edward I love more. **

**Chapter Three**

**Margaret and The Cullens. **

I hate and love this moment at the same time. I knew what I was doing now was going to hurt someone and I hated it. But it's been years and when you're still in love with your first love you just give in to it even though he moved on, I hate this.

_Bella, what are you doing! You are so stupid! Let go of him! He is obviously just happy that you're alive! Now he can clear his conscious and pull you away again! He hurt you long enough! No! No! No! _I was clearly fighting for what's right. I didn't notice that I let myself connect to Edward more than a hug but my mind. Crap! Edward pulled away softly but his head still on my face with a hurt look on his eyes.

I blocked his thoughts away. "I read your mind?" he whispered confused, on the edge of his voice he also sounded hurt. Oh yes, he heard.

"That was because I let you," I whispered back still not clearly though, I still felt numb. I tried to keep my voice casual but I lost memory with Plan A and that was to act calm and still happy to see him, tell him you're happy and show him that you totally moved on but miss him and wanted to be friends.

It did not work since he heard what I was thinking a minute ago.

"Bella, I cannot believe my own eyes. You, here… right now. I missed you so much. Who bit you? How come Alice hasn't seen any visions of you? How long has it been?" he's eyes looked like someone had tortured him. If he were to cry now, I bet his shirt would be soaking wet. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm such a monster. For letting you go like that. Lying to you. You have no idea on how much I want to rip myself right now."

"Edward," I signed. "Look, its not your fault. You know me. I'm a danger magnet." I chuckled lightly. But it did not affect either of us.

Silence surrounded us for a whole minute. We were looking at each other. Trying to see the changes. He didn't change much. He still looked like Edward… my Edward. I was feeling a bit shy as he examined my face, like counting every freckles (if I had freckles) in my face and he looked so happy but his eyes could not hide the guilt.

"Edward, dear!" a high-pitched voice echoed into my head. And seconds later, a hand was wrapping around Edward's shoulder. Long thin arms, a girl an inch shorter than me wearing a pink strapless dress, her curly brown hair did not reach her shoulder, her thin lips was curving in a seductive smile for Edward and her stick figure looked like she needed more curves but then again she looked like what any vampires would look like a goddess. "We must dance! Rosalie and Emmett are!"

I felt so jealous, never like this before. Not even with Jesse as perky human cheerleaders fall all over him. No, I wanted to throw something right at her but it wouldn't make me the teeniest bit satisfied. I wanted to glare at her; I wanted to punch her perfect little face and most of all I wanted to cry. She is obviously Edwards new mate. God, I felt like throwing a fit right now. I was so sad. How was I so stupid before? Human and vampire, I was naïve and I still am. Being in love with a guy who loves someone else. I wanted to hurt myself. And her.

And the way she said Rosalie's name was like she was Rosalie's own personal slave. But as much as Rosalie seemed to dislike me, I knew Rosalie had a good heart. This girl must just be obsessed to want to be like Rosalie Hale.

Edward gave her a weak smile. And I knew, it was a bit awkward. Having your girlfriend and your ex in the same room. I didn't even want to think if the girl was more than his girlfriend.

The girl stopped to face me. Her face showed the shock and jealousy as she studied my appearance. I gave her a friendly smile and she gave me a fake one. I like Rosalie better. "Love, who is this?" she asked Edward, eyeing me clearly saying, 'Stay away from him, he's mine!'

"I am Isabella Gerald." We shook hands.

"Margaret Cullen." She said in a matter of fact. Shock ran into my face, they were married! It felt like someone just stabbed my un-beating heart.

I kept my composure straight and casual. Who said I couldn't act? I can act as much as Edward. "You guys are married?" I asked trying to sound confuse. I was so obvious. But when I took a quick peek on her left hand, no ring.

Margaret laughed, "Oh, no. We're just dating. But someday, maybe, what would make you think about that?"

I laughed with her, "Its just that, the last time I met the Cullen's. The newest member was Jasper."

Edward stayed silent, still looking at me. I ignored him, I was mad. No, furious.

"Oh, you're an old friend?" She asked.

"Something like that." I replied nicely. I looked at Edward, letting him in my mind. Now, I have to hide what I was really thinking, he can have a quick peek. I just have to ask something. _Edward, Does she know? _

He nodded. I blocked him out again.

"Bella, everyone would be so glad to see you. Margaret, why don't we bring her to our table?" Edward said. Margaret nodded and mumbled a frustrated, "Sure."

Okay… I'm totally nervous now. I took a deep breath. I was going to meet the Cullens, my old family. I missed every single one of them.

Alice, her jumpy attitude and even her shopping sprees! Emmett his jokes even though they don't make sense I would be laughing happily right now. Esme, her loving nature, she was like a mother to me. Jaspers complains with the moods around him even though we don't really talk and that he almost took the snap out of me, Jasper was like my own brother, Carlisle's advices and fatherly actions and even Rosalie's pigheadedness.

This is it. This is it. This is it. Breathe, Bella, even though you don't need to. I'm nervous. What are they going to think? I wonder if they would hate me for not letting them know for all these years. I wonder is Alice still wanted to be best friends. Gosh, I'm so nervous.

Why am I not surprise? My family was there at the table too. Alice probably dragged them there as soon as she saw me on one of her visions. Carlisle and Drew was talking about something maybe the how to make the world a better place for humans and the supernatural obviously us. Emmett and Nick was in a heavy arm-wrestling match with Dean cheering, Rosalie and Heather was talking about clothes, Alice and Annie was giggling and whispering low to each other, Jasper and Jesse was talking about motorcycles and Esme and Elizabeth was talking about something about Home furnishing.

That was before they noticed me. Alice and Emmett then both yelped out of their seats and starting to yell my name like crazy. Alice got me first, hugging me tightly; we were both jumping up and down.

"Bella! I missed you so much! When I saw you in my vision hours ago! I couldn't stop smiling! It was you and Edward in the meadow! I couldn't believe my eyes! I had to hide it to Edward though; I wanted to see the look on his face. We missed you like crazy!" Alice probably recited. "Isabella Marie Swann! I cannot believe you blocked my power! Our family was about dead without you! But good lord! I can't believe you're here!"

Emmett was beginning to get impatient and pushed Alice softly away from me and he gave me a huge bear hug. I laughed, and patted him on the back. "Jeez! Bella! You didn't even think of calling your favorite bother! I'm missed you so much sis!"

"You have no idea, Em!" I said. "I wanted to I really did."

"Well, you could have called me! And I could have kept it a secret!" Emmett said. I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe not but still! There was no one to make fun of!"

I rolled my eyes. At the background Alice was complaining at Emmett. Somethings just never change. "Bella, are you still clumsy?"

I laughed, "Yes I am but if you mess with me. You'll be sorry." I said jokingly as I turned my hand into fire for two seconds. His eyes was wide as well was the others. "Awesome power, Bells!" Emmett knew it was his cue to step aside and Esme embraced me tenderly.

"Oh…Bella! I missed you so much. It was like losing a daughter!" she said.

"I missed you so much too." I replied back hugging her tightly. Mom. Renee, Esme and Catherine. "I'm so sorry I did not keep in touch, I was afraid."

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Bella. You are my daughter, no matter what. And you should have let Alice see you in her visions. You should have." Esme replied softly and forgiving, like a mother always is. It made me miss Renee too.

I smiled at her. "It doesn't matter now. I'm here aren't I?"

"Yes, you are." Esme kissed my forehead and she let Carlisle embrace me. Carlisle hugged me lightly.

"It's been decades, Isabella. I'm glad you're here. We missed you a lot." He said.

I smiled. "I know,"

"You have a lot of explaining to do." Carlisle said.

"I know that. And, I'll tell you every single detail." Carlisle gave me a warm kind smile and then, Jasper.

We shook hands. "Bella, its so good to see you. The loneliness and depression was killing me. You were always like a sister to me even though we don't really communicate much." Jasper said. "And I'm so sorry about what-" I cut him off.

I laughed lightly, "It was an accident, Jasper. Don't worry about it."

And then Rosalie, she looked shocked. She looked at my appearance, a sudden kind of jealously that I never seen appeared on her face. What was wrong with everyone? I look normal! Then she tried to keep her face smooth and relaxed. We shook hands. "Bella." Was all she said, I smiled at her kindly.

I glanced at Margaret for a while, who now look furious and shocked. "You're Bella Swann!?!" she said. I nodded. She took a hold of Edward's hand harder. Edward hissed slowly at her for some reason.

I faced The Cullens and my family. Jesse came over me and gave me a small kiss on the lips, wrapping his arms around me. Edwards's eyes mixed with different moods including jealously. I ignored him.

Jesse led me to a seat next to him and Alice swiftly sat on the other side smiling happily. As soon as everyone was seated, we talked. I told them we should discuss the important things privately. Mom and dad invited them to our home after this with Jesse's help.

Everyone seemed to know each other but Edward had to introduce himself. My family was polite to him, even Jesse but he did not talk to Edward after the introduction. I did not talk to Edward, or Margaret since she seemed mad right now.

I did found out that Tanya's clan in Denali found Margaret, Alice told me in a low whisper that Margaret was spoiled and troubled in the same time. Tanya's clan sent her to live with the Cullens. She got better mostly because of Rosalie, her role model I suppose and her huge crush on Edward. But she wouldn't tell me what happened next and giggled saying that Edward will tell me someday. Margaret had no abilities though.

About 1:00 Am, we were home. Jesse was a bit tired though; he never transported so many vampires before. What I miss about being human was that you need to sleep at this kind of hour and I would want that today, so tomorrow I would be refreshed after the things that happened but no, instead all of us. Drew, Catherine, Jesse, Annie, Nick, Dean, Heather, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Margaret and … Edward sat on the living room their eyes fixing on me. I was trying not to make eye contact with Edward. I signed.

"Where do I begin?"

**Please review. **


	5. Chapter 4

I Have Everything…NOT!

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life is perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend who's planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and it will give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man and Victoria is out for revenge!

**I don't own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse**

**I was busy. Sorry didn't update sooner. Today, we were off school bcuz the road was icy. Anyways, hope u like it. Thanks for all the reviews. **

Chapter Four 

**New Classmates **

And so I told them. I told them every single thing that happened to me. It wasn't that bad. I told them about how Laurent got me, how Jake attended to help while I was in the caves for three days but I had to stop him I don't want to get him in trouble, I ran away. While in the caves I was heavily hoping that Alice wouldn't see me in one of her visions. I did what Carlisle did, swam. I got to Europe. I changed my name. Everyone nation wide knew that I was missing and dead, that's why, The Volturi found out about me. Asked me to be one of them but I decline them nicely but they still try to pursue me to join them though. I met the Gerald's while hunting. I told them about my story and they did too. I was welcomed to join the family. I started dating Jesse. Years later when everyone would surely forget about my case in the US, we came back. I started to go back to school. And now we are here in Virginia, mostly Deer's is all you can find. And now here I am.

The Cullens seemed so… depress then, like it's their fault this happened to me. It was not theirs, only my own. Especially, Edward, I knew he… just thinks every bad thing that happened to me is because of him. I should have told him every good thing that happened to me is because of him too. But when he broke my heart, might be one but I couldn't blame him. Who would want plain Bella Swann anyways? But I always thought I was something special to him. I guess, I thought wrong.

But you know what? I never in a million years regretted coming to Forks at all. It opened a new chapter of my life. I had so many paths so choose from and I never regretted choosing Edward. Even the pain he caused me (not blaming him) but myself. What I did to Charlie and Renee, the pain I caused them. I knew I could never heal the scars but I know one thing, hope.

I tried to calm myself down but how? Really, how? I want to sleep, I want to dream and most of all wake up and throw all the weight off me. That was one thing I miss about being human. I can't deny it, I feel regretful about some of my decision sometimes. Because not like the Cullens or my family. I remembered every single detail about being human.

I did look up to any of the Cullens. Worried and hurt.

"Bella, I just don't understand why you blocked my powers." Alice murmured. Speaking first.

"I was afraid, scared and worried. I was so confused when I was changed. I was new at everything." I confessed in a low voice.

"Yes but you should have! We could have helped!" Jasper exclaimed. Or maybe he just didn't want to be the weakest one. Nah, how did I get that Idea? That's not it.

"But I couldn't control my powers, yet. It took days to even find out how it worked. And while I was doing all that I had to think about all the things and what's to come." I replied still quiet. "And I thought I was the reason you all left. Because you didn't want to have anything to do with me."

"Why would you think that, Bella? You're like a daughter to Carlisle and me. We just had to do what was right for you." Esme said coming to sit with me, hugging me like a mother would.

"We didn't want to interfere. Mostly, Edward wanted you to be safe and happy. We al did." Alice said.

"It doesn't really matter now." I replied. "Nothing really matters now. I just wanted a new beginning and the Gerald's did that for me. But I don't want you all to go away. I want all of you to be apart of my new life. Anyway, if my story was so simple it wouldn't be fun to hear." I chuckled. "And anyways, it was an experience."

"So, Alice. Do you want to go shopping tomorrow? Big sale coming up." Annie announced breaking the silence.

Alice squeaked in delight. "I just had a vision about that! Of course! Oh Bella! You should come too!"

I stiffened. Not daring to answer.

Emmett chuckled, "Guess she still hates shopping."

Alice frowned. "I knew that but I want her too! It's been so long!" she pleaded. "Bella! Bella! Bella! Come on!"

Great. Shopping again. 50 of my clothes still have the price tag on it. "Alice, you know if you want some kind of bonding time. There is more to life than shopping."

"But shopping is just so fun!" Nah.

"It is but… we always shop." I argued.

Alice frowned, "We? It's been so long!"

I groaned, "Fine! But the last shopping trip I will have for three weeks!"

Alice and Annie both jumped and started to plan the date and stuff. I sat with my arms crossed, looking smug. Jesse laughed lightly, and held me closer. Heather and Rosalie rolled their eyes at the two shopping obsessed female vampires and went on to other discussion. Emmett and Nick are on a wrestling match outside. Jasper, Dean and Jesse wasting their time watching some horror film, Carlisle and Drew on another discussion about… everything scientific I guess. Catherine and Esme were talking about gardening in the un-used kitchen. Margaret was clearly in a bad mood and joined Rosalie and Heather's conversation. Edward just looked so… sad and depress.

I have never seen him like this. The pain clearly shown in his face like he was too weak to hide it, why is he like this? I don't need him to pity me. I don't need that. Why was he always trying to blame himself?

He just sat there frozen as a statue facing the ground. Even though I'm far away from him, he skin seemed so cold. And then he stood up. He faced me. "Bella," he said. "Can we talk for a while?"

Everyone was looking at him and then me. They stopped what they were doing and just faced us. Waiting for one of us to say something. Jesse looked at me with a hard cold face. I faced Edward again, casually. "Sure, we can talk outside."

I turned to Jesse and smiled, "I'll be back, alright?"

Jesse nodded unsure. I left my seat and I headed to the door. Edward followed behind me. I leaned against Nick's car facing the moon.

Edward just stood there looking at me. "I know we have a lot to talk about."

I faced him. I was still not getting use to seeing Edward again. Every time I look at him I just sometimes just lose it. Edward was just so beautiful that the word 'beautiful' does not even describe him so much because he was more than that. I always believed that I could see right through him. I always thought when he was so calm and composed I knew inside he felt like ripping to shreds and when he lies, but he was too good at it. I can't detect which is the lie from the truth but I guess I was the lie. The truth was Margaret.

"I know we do," I replied. "I told you my story. I want to know yours."

"Would it be alright if I don't tell you all of the details?" He said. "Most of them, I'm not very well ready to tell you yet."

I frowned. I like honesty. I hate shortcuts. "Why not? Tell me everything."

Edward laughed, his soft velvet laughed. "Still stubborn I see."

I glared at him, "Seriously, Edward. Why wont you tell me? Is it scary? Don't you think I can handle it? After what I told all of you!"

"It's not what you expect it is."

"What do you think I expect?"

"That I don't care you, that I don't have any feelings for you. You know the rest." He replied coming closer to me. An inch far from my face, "In my opinion, it is just absorb, very much."

"Do you think I could expect anything else, Edward? What are you doing now? You have Margaret!" I snapped at him but I did not raise my voice.

He shook his head, took a step backwards. "I am so sorry. I know I deserved not to be forgiven. But you have to understand one thing, Bella. I did all those things for you."

I looked extremely confused. "What do you mean?" before he could answer, I stopped him. No, I don't want to hear it. "Edward." I smiled at him. Letting all my anger out. I made my decision. "Look. Lets leave the past behind us. It wouldn't hurt if we try to be friends. What do you say?"

* * *

The Cullens left after sunrise with Jesse's help. Edward and I agreed we try to be friends, which made my day. It wont be hard, I hope. Maybe my strong feelings for him would soon fade away, but I don't want I to but I had to and we all knew it. I think I am in a good relationship with _most_ of the Cullens for that matter.

Sunday… another typical day for us, you know what would be fun right now? I clearly have no idea on whatsoever. I spend three minutes on my homework but I tried to take it slow. I just know all the things and read all the books. It was so easy.

Annie was a bit disappointed though, she called Alice earlier today because she wanted to go shopping but Alice was busy.

Today, after what happened the day before. I just wanted to read a good book. "BELL…A!!!" Heather's voice soon entered the room. In truth, I thought it was Annie.

I put my book down and smiled at her. "Hey, Heather. What's up?"

She sat at the edge of my king sized bed. "Gosh, Bella. Why do you have a bed when you cant sleep?"

"Its one thing I miss about being human. When you wake up, you feel refreshed. But now, my anger and frustration goes wherever I go." I confessed which I think a couple of times. There were a _lot_ of questions about it. "Is that all?"

Heather shook her head.

Heather, for that matter was sort of like Rosalie. Elegant and always calm, Heather, though to her disappointment does not have ability. But she never puts up a jealous face when we all use ours. Dean thought she was the cutest thing in the whole entire world. With her soft curly blonde hair, curvy body and how elegant she walks, I think.

"Well, I was just thinking. Maybe, you want to go… guy hunting?" Heather giggled. I raised an eyebrow. Boy hunting, was our own game; we take too many advantages with our looks. You see, we try to _dazzle_ some human guys and then we tell their girlfriends he's cheating on her. Annie said it's just to find out if a guy is being honest and truthful to his girlfriend. Mom didn't like it so much though, she told us never to do it again but sometimes, Heather liked breaking the rules. To be a rebel, right… a rebel for not following one of your mom's rules, that is a crime.

I signed, "And why?"

She shrugged, "I miss playing."

"You do know human guys are not an item? That we should treat them as our equal?" though we can break them into pieces for just a second.

She rolled her eyes, "Come on! Just one guy at least."

"You are so bad, Heather." I said sarcastically. "Really, I would be offended right now if I was still human."

"Just one. Please! And then we call it quits forever and spend the day having fun." She stated.

"FINE. Where are we going?" I asked still doubtful.

"The Mall." She answered and walked off to get ready.

I groaned, "Figures."

It is always the mall.

After getting Dean's and Jesse's approval with a laugh, we went straight to the mall. Heather was looking out for a separated couple for 15 minutes. Finally, she found one. The male was going to get some shakes, while the girl went inside Abercrombie and Fitch. "Oh!!! And the guy looks good. For a human." She added.

"Sure. Just go get him and after that lets go to Borders." I replied pushing her towards him.

"You're going to Borders. While I, shop at Aerosoles." Her obsession, shoes.

"Sure. Now, go!"

Heather flipped her hair. She walked like she was in a catwalk. She smiled seductively at him, which the guy looked in awe with a banana milkshake in his hands. "Hey you, I'm Heather."

It took the guy a long time to answer. And when he came to his senses, he replied. "I—m Jason."

Heather laughed, "Hey, Jason. I just bought this push up bra from Victoria Secret." Heather said showing him a hot pink push up bra form the Victoria Secret bag. "I want your opinion. Do you think it would look good on me?"

Jason face reddened. "I'm sure it will."

"Oh, thanks! Another question, look good seems so not good, how about will I look hot?" She asked again.

Jason cleared his throat. "Excuse me, Heather. But I have a girlfriend."

My mouth came into a circled 'O'. No one ever rejected Heather. But Heather didn't seem to be offended but she grinned, "Well, your girlfriend is so lucky to have such a faithful guy. See ya." And then she turned away from him and she gave me a frown.

And we walked to our final destination. To Borders and Aerosoles.

"I never had been rejected in my entire life! Until now!" She mumbled.

I grinned, "Its something new. You will get over this, will you? And anyway I though you deserved it to be honest. Its not nice to be playing games to a innocent guy."

And for that she hissed at me.

* * *

Monday… another start of a boring week, nothing seems to please me in school. It was just school.

I told everyone about the Boy hunting trip. Well, not everyone or else we would be in trouble. Heather seemed moody today; she has been teased for a while.

And it got worse when she checked the yearbook and found out that Jason went to AE High. A junior.

"Maybe, he wont notice me. Maybe, he forgot about me." She said.

"It was only yesterday. I think the kid might have a longer memory." Dean replied.

Dean parked his car, next to a Yellow Porsche I never seen before. Porsche? They seem so old fashioned. A very old model, I think. An out of nowhere, Alice's face came into view in the Porsche driver seat waving at us. My jaw dropped.

She, Jasper and Emmett came out. We did the same. I was still in shock. What are they doing here? Crap? Is this the reason why they were so busy? "What are you guys doing here?" I asked.

Alice jumped enthusiastically. "BELLA! Guess What? We're going here now! Isn't that just great!" She gave me a squeeze. And started to talk again. "I cant believe it! We're going to be classmates again! And most importantly neighbors!"

I squeaked in delight unexpectedly. "That's awesome!"

Classmates with Alice, Margaret and …Edward, I guess that's fabulous. And I get to see Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie in the cafeteria. Fantastic.

Jesse didn't seem so glad about it, more when Edward came from his beloved Volvo.

School was better. It has been a week since the Cullens first moved. We were neighbors now. They lived in the empty house that was next to ours. Carlisle and Esme bought it. Esme re-designed the place.

And the funny thing is Edward sat next to me in Biology class. Stranger, just like before.

And Margaret still hates me, lovely.

Rosalie talks to me.

And the Cullens were a huge sensation right now.

Carlisle worked in the hospital with Drew.

And I'm also classmates with Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie since they also enrolled as Seniors.

And things got better between Edward and Jesse. They had a lot in common. But they weren't the best buddies…yet.

* * *

It was my new typical day in the cafeteria. Edward, Jesse and Jasper talking about cars. Rosalie and Heather both tried to flirt with Jason again. Alice and Anne were telling me about their shopping extravaganza when I was away for the weekend to hunt with Jesse, Emmett and Edward. Emmett was admiring his muscles like he never does. Nick and Dean were talking about motorcycles. And Margaret was just left out. So, I decided to talk to her too but she ignored me. Edward gave me a 'sorry' look.

We were fine, until Alice stopped talking for a second. Edward was facing her in worry. Alice looked at me. She looked frightened.

"Everyone let go to the parking lot. Now." Alice said in demand voice.

She grabbed my hand. And we ran outside. I was worried. What did she see in her vision?

"Alice… what-?" She ignored me and faced Jesse.

"Jesse. I need you to bring us to Forks, Washington. At the Swann Residence." Alice said. "Now. Before its too late."

"Alice. Tell me!" I was furious now. Why did I have to go back to Forks? Back home?

Alice faced me before Jesse could get a hold of us all.

"Its Charlie."

**Please Review**


	6. Chapter 5

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life was perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend whose planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man.

**Hello! Thank you for the reviews!!!!! **

**Chapter Five**

**Charlie**

I did not leave Forks without promising myself. I swore that I would never interfere with Charlie. Even the pain I cost him. I just couldn't do it. Bringing him to a dangerous world where he does not belong. I kind of understand Edward's side now. I love my dad and mom. I wanted them to have a happy life.

From what I heard of Charlie was that he was like a living robot, actually. Just doing his job. Not caring if he loses it, since his divorced with his wife and his daughter died. Billy was always there for him though, but… Charlie. I don't know and I really didn't want to.

Now what was I doing back here in Forks? What about Charlie did Alice foreseen.

I was still as a statue when we transported to Forks. I closed my eyes, thinking about seeing the mossy green things that occupied the ground. Forks being the mossy green and gray place I have ever been. Forks my home.

But instead of that, we all ended up, as I opened my eyes slowly into a room I knew so familiarly well. A bed stood, the sheets and comforter untouched, the desk still filled with the books and papers I had to do, fading wall colors, the rocking chair that looked so… antique-ish now and the closet that Alice always complained about lacking some style. The deserted look fitted the place; looks like Charlie did not have the guts to come in here at all.

I couldn't just stay there. Since, we heard a scream of agony and pain from the first floor. Who could that be, I'll take one guess, Charlie. A turned my attention to the opened door, Alice already down there and the others. That's when I realized I was too busy looking at the sights of my room to even bother thinking about the reason why we were here at the first place. Some daughter I am.

I ran swiftly down the first floor. Everyone, I assumed was at the Living Room where Charlie watched the games and stuff. There were more screams.

"We should have gotten here sooner!" Jaspers said. "Why did you do it!"

"It's going to be alright, Charlie. We're here." Alice's comforting and still soothing voice rang. I walked into the another familiar area of the house that looked like nothing has been remodeled, just looked like it was years ago except for the blood that filled the place… eww… stinks. I looked at someone who circled the others excluding Alice, Victoria. I looked down at the floor where Alice kneeled to find a bleeding and screaming Charlie. It felt like something swallowed right down. I felt my hair beginning to heat up with all the anger causing it to flame fire.

I glared furiously at Victoria; I glared at her hard, "You monster! What have you done to Charlie!" I screamed facing her and then I attacked. I locked her neck with my arms; I knew it wouldn't work since vampires don't choke but I made my hands burn 100 degrees and up that caused the fire alarm to enter which Emmett broke.

"Bella!" Jesse yelled stopping me. He pulled me away from Victoria. It took me a while to calm down. I took a deep breath. "Let me take a snap out of her, Jess."

"We'll take care of her. Right now, your father needs you." He told me and left with the others to the forest. I stood still until they were away.

I could still hear Charlie screaming. I kneeled down at him, kissed his wrinkled forehead and hugged him closer to me. "It's okay dad, we're here. Don't worry…"

Charlie had his eyes closed, his clothes soaking wet with blood. Alice was on the phone talking to Carlisle.

"Yes. Victoria. Hmm. No! Come now! Jesse will take you. I checked. Yes, his already transforming, the venom is circling now." Alice stated she looked at me with sorry eyes. "I'll be back. Just need to find Jesse."

I looked at her wide-eyed, the venom? "Alice, is he… transforming?"

Alice nodded, "I'm so sorry, Bella. It was too late to save him." And then she disappeared outside.

That left Charlie and me. He was sobbing…now. I never saw him like this. His so old now… gray haired, he did not deserve this. What have I done?

"It's burning. It hurts. Help!" he cried.

"Dad! Don't worry it will go away! Dad it's me, Bella!" I told him, hushing. "We will get through this. You'll be fine."

"Bella? You lie! My daughter is dead!"

"I will explain later. Right now, we just have to… oh gosh, I don't know but we will think of something." I said. "Carlisle will be here, soon."

"Nonsense! How is Alice here? I thought I saw her siblings! Who are you? You can't be Bella!"

"I am. I'm immortal now, dad. You will be soon. I should have gotten here sooner but how was I to know? Don't worry, I'll tell you everything as soon as we find a way to stop you from transforming and to get out of this mess but its too late."

The confusion and disbelief never left Charlie's face. I signed, "Like I said. Lets talk about it later. There are more problems."

The others came back soon, faster than I expected. Victoria is dead… gone. That was one thing at least that I don't have to worry about.

"Jesse, please take Charlie back home. Bring him to my bedroom." I asked. "Please, I'll be there soon." 

He nodded. Still he looked at me with worried eyes. His soft lips brushed touched my forehead for a while. "It's going to be okay. Everything will be fine."

I smiled at him. "I hope so."

I turned to the others who looked at me concerned even Margaret and Rosalie. I smiled at them. "Can one of you call Carlisle to help Charlie? Charlie knows him at least. So he might wake up looking at a familiar face, I guess." Rosalie volunteered. I smiled at her gratefully.

"We have two more things to do." Jasper said. "We have to make the humans think that he ran away after injuring himself. That's the best thing I could think of. They might think he followed his daughter or something. And then the wolves, they probably could smell us. Lets not waste time and just talk to them about Charlie."

The wolves. NO, I don't want to see them. "Can I please be excuse?"

They all nodded understanding.

I ran. As fast as I could within the forest, I wanted to be alone.

I found the Meadow, still beautiful within the grayish skies. I sat at the rock, lying there with my eyes close. Breathing in and out. Listening to my surroundings. Just letting all the tension and worries pass me. Just lying there in a peaceful place.

I felt extremely well. I felt fine. Relieved.

That was before Edward came in the Meadow.

**Please Review. **


	7. Chapter 6

For Isabella Marie Swann life with no Edward Cullen was the worst nightmare of all imagined. Then, Laurent turns her into a vampire. She meets the Gerald's. She falls in love again but he's no Edward. Twenty-years later, Isabella's life was perfect, she had a loving family, a charming boyfriend whose planning on proposing, a pocket full of credit cards and a astonishing beauty that not even Rosalie Cullen could ever dream of. Then why is she still unhappy? Take a Vampire Party and turn it into a sweet reunion for Isabella and the Cullen's and give trouble along the way. That is! Its war! Against Edwards new sweetheart and Bella's new man.

**Hey... i'm back. well, of course. Tnx for all the reviews. **

**I dont own Twilight, New Moon or Eclipse.**

**Chapter Six **

**Confessions**

"Please leave me alone, Edward," I asked him politely in a whisper. The dark grayish sky was fading now, it was starting to form something new… something brighter… like a new brighter beginning. It was a wonderful sight. And I totally would love the silence within it too.

The cold wind changing into a warm and still cool breeziness. I could really see the magnificent form of the rock I lay in. The trees surrounding the place, those little while flowers on the ground and the greenish vine things around. The place looked like it had a life now. I admired it. I wished my life would someday be like that. Beautiful. Imaginative. Sparkly. I am already sparkly but really… you know what I mean.

I caught Edward smiling crookedly, his dazzling crooked smile, the one I always adored. "The last time I checked, _we_ both owned this Meadow."

The way he pronounced the word 'we' makes it sounds like there is really something there but who am I to know?

"When is the last time you checked? Fifteen years ago I suppose?"

He didn't answer directly but sat at the edge of the rock, his hands on the solid surface of it, almost near my right one.

"I come here every year," the loneliness that seemed to surround his voice. Why did he seem so sad? Why every year? I know he has a lot of money but going half way around the country just to visit a meadow? Was that the only reason why? But this place was not just a meadow, it was when he confessed his feelings but turns out to be a lie.

"Why? I mean, so you come here every year?" I continued. "Why do you? I mean, I know you guys have a lot of money for that? But to visit this place?"

His soft golden eyes made contact with mine. I looked extremely amused and confused. While him, knowing the reason looked hopeful and there was sadness. And lately that was the only expression he had on except for the annoyed one reserved for Emmett and Nick… the two most annoying guys I know walked on the earth. He did not reply.

I frowned clearly annoyed and then I smiled, "You know I still have not heard your side of the story yet. Come on, going back to Forks. Where everything about us started. I think this place is a wonderful place for an explanation. Don't cha think?"

Edward signed, "Yes, I guess so… but I don't know what you're going to think next. I'm no psychic."

"You don't have to be. You're clever enough to think of some possibilities."

"Yes, I did a lot of thinking."

"Then tell me."

He turned his head around starring at a tree. "I come here every year. I was being hopeful that maybe you were somehow… still alive." He confessed. "I couldn't let you go. I knew hope was the last chance I have. That maybe you would come here and maybe we will be together again."

Guilt rushed through me. "Why? Edward if this is about guild. Really… its fine, you did nothing wrong."

He growled a little and quickly glared at me. Scary. "It wasn't guilt, Bella. It was something more than that! You had no idea. I was ready, Bella. Ready to ask the Volturi to kill me. It was a very reasonable action. I had nothing left to live for! Nothing at all! You were my everything and then suddenly I knew I had to sacrifice my happiness for yours. I was dead and I acted dead. I separated from my family after we left.

"You have no idea how hurt and angry and broken I was. No one will ever know the pain I had just gone through! Loosing you! I'm a monster I knew I deserved it. I was in a presence of an angel. An angel that clearly does not belong to me but I took you any way! Being selfish… but happy and grateful too. I wasn't stupid but I wasn't brave enough either."

I froze. Still in shocked. My body wasn't going to be moving for a while. My mouth was a bit wide open. My eyes unbelieving, and always parading… I don't why.

He understood my impression. "I'm quite a good actor. I had to be when I had to be. And look what I have done…. I seriously don't know, Bella. Should I be happy that you are? I think that's a good idea, you're the most important thing to me. So… I did it. I acted normal to you, calm and struggling still. As strong as you seem to credit me for, I cant take it sometimes. My heart is dead, Bella but… in a way in the dawn you always embraced my trembling dead heart. I can't cry but you caught my tears. You held me when a storm came and you still held on. You believed in me, you trusted me when I am someone you cant absolutely should not trust. And when you went away… the storm came back, my invisible tears flowed endlessly, my heart started to tremble again calling your name nonstop and nothing after that seemed to be important. No, nothing in my world did, only you mattered the most but I had to let you go. You're okay now aren't you? you're happy? Please forget about me telling you this. You deserve everything you've got. I don't want to take it away."

It took me awhile. He… cared about me? He needed me? He loves me?

But he said he was a good actor? How could I be sure? But the sincere look in his face… he was telling the truth. He thought my life was perfect now? His miserable?

For once I felt comfortable at least. Rejoicing. Edward just told me these things and suddenly I felt bright, just like a normal person who just woke up from a bad dream.

"You…think…I'm…happy?" I whispered the words slowly. "Edward. Every single year everything seems to be falling apart. I never really showed my true feelings. Jesse is incredible, he is really important to me but you know what? I want to scream literally. No one knows how much… how hard I've been struggling. Nothing seemed to fit. Nothing seemed to be all right. As much as I love my family, yet I want to run away. Maybe I was… just over pressured. But it was really that I was impatient. I wanted to be with you again okay! But no… I can't do that now."?

The hurt looked that crossed his face was un-mistakable. He softly wrapped his arms around me holding me tight yet… still soft and careful. Just like when I was a human.

I missed this, I've been craving for this for so long and though I know it is wrong. I can't let go. No one can pull me away from him, no one can push me away, I love him and I will do anything.

I know all the sacrifices he done…for me. Everything around him he was always so calm, but sometimes it looked like he was trying to hold himself just to make me feel…fine. He didn't want me to feel anything bad even though it was killing him.

My head on his chest, I inhaled his beautiful scent. I smiled.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered.

"I love you too."

I look up to him, to see him smiling. He looked so happy, the smile I haven't been seeing since the day before the birthday accident.

And the way he looked at me. It was breathtaking.

I feel so happy. But so many emotions are rushing through me. It might make Jasper crazy I think.

I frowned. I should stop living in this dimension that will never happen. A lot of things are on the way. "Oh, Edward. This is wrong. It is like deceiving him. Everyone for that matter."

"Bella," he signed deeply. Turning his attention away from me for a second and then his eyes narrowed. Those beautiful golden eyes piercing, "Are you happy, Bella?"

"Right now I am." I confessed, if I could blush right now I would have been so red.

"And so am I… so much. There is always something we want that someone else disapprove on. And there is also forgiveness, understanding and a decision. There is always a choice." I swear he is too confident.

"How can you be so sure?" I mumbled.

"I just want you to be happy. Don't you think Jesse would want that too? I wont argue with your decision."

"How can someone be so over pressured as I am? I mean, come on! I have to choose again. I have things to worry about. My only escape would be homework that would last me only a minute. I will be betraying someone. And Charlie is transforming into one of us."

"And I'm not betraying someone?" I shrugged.

"It depends, really."

"It does. But you have no idea, Bella. You are my whole life. That is how much you matter to me."

"That's nice. You are too. Though, I'm kind of busy right now. I just need to think clearly you know." I replied playing with his hair. "You know…maybe soul searching."

He laughed at the last part. He knew what I meant though.

"I understand completely." There he kissed my forehead.

"And Edward, please do me a favor,"

"Anything,"

"Tell Alice to keep her mouth shut for a while. I would really appreciate it."

_Notice me, take my hand  
Why are we strangers when  
Our love is strong  
Why carry on without me _

Everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, it's haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here  
It's the only way I see clear  
What have I done  
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain  
Please forgive me  
My weakness caused you pain  
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray  
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall  
Without my wings, I feel so small  
I guess I need you, baby  
And everytime I see you in my dreams  
I see your face, you're haunting me  
I guess I need you, baby 

_Everytime 'Britney Spears' _

* * *

**I don't really like Britney but these songs just kinds of reminds me of Edward and Bella. Please review.**


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